Sunday, February 1, 2009

Phelps smokes weed, destroys conservative narrative

Of course Michael Phelps has smoked weed. But you wouldn't know it from the flabbergasted reaction of Drudge Report and other sensationalist online rags: "THIS is the astonishing picture which could destroy the career of the greatest competitor in Olympic history."

No, actually, it can't destroy his career. He's already won 14 freaking Olympic gold medals.

It can, however, destroy the conservative narrative that's been shoved down our throats by Nancy Reagan and the Office of National Drug Control Policy for the last three decades or so.

The shock that everyone is reported is that -- have you heard? -- Michael Phelps has smoked a little Mary Jane on occasion. Or at least once. The shock that isn't reported is that, you know, funny, he's the most successful Olympic athlete and he appears to have done so whilst having some interaction with controlled substances. Which means that the egg I fried for breakfast this morning might just not be like your brain on drugs. It might be something like part of a delicious breakfast sandwich, for example.

Gotta love this AP follow up wherein Phelps promises "I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again." You heard it here first: Michael Phelps will never ever let someone take pictures of him smoking out of a bong again. Ever.

1 comment:

Ryan said...

shit i like to smoke his pipe haha!